If you're in the unfortunate situation of being dumped by your girlfriend or boyfriend, one of the biggest sources of panic comes from the knowledge that your ex is already dating someone new.
First off, if you don't have any hard facts and you're only speculating based on some innocent comments you've seen on myspace or facebook, you should be aware that in many cases your paranoia may be unfounded. When you've been recently dumped, your emotions (and imagination) will be running wild, so don't get yourself unnecessarily worked up by running through a bunch of possible scenarios that only exist in your mind. Better yet, don't even look at your ex's profile!
On the other hand, you might hear from friends that your ex is indeed dating, in which case don't panic! The fact that your ex is dating, especially if it's right after your breakup, should not concern you too much, and here's why:
1. If this was a serious relationship, your ex's feelings for you aren't going to just go away overnight. Sure, it was them that ended the relationship, but it will take a while for them to "forget" about you (if they ever do).
2. Your ex is most likely dating to help them get over the pain of the breakup, commonly known as the "rebound relationship". The sooner they start dating after the breakup, the more likely this is. I don't think I need to tell you that your ex feeling emotional pain over the breakup is good news for you!
3. Rebound relationships rarely, I repeat, rarely ever work out. In fact, go ahead and assume that it's NOT going to work out. As mentioned already, they're dating to help them get over the breakup. They are using this person to ease their pain, not looking for their soul mate.
So how do you handle this? You've got to be completely cool about it! Your ex will be expecting you to have a reaction about them dating.....don't give it to them! Believe it or not, you being "ok" with them dating is actually going to make you more attractive. If you ever happen to actually meet the person your ex is dating, simply shake their hand and say "nice to meet you". By being a good sport about it, you will be setting yourself up as someone who deserves a second chance. So for now just be cool, and be patient!
If you want your ex back YESTERDAY then visit: http://tinyurl.com/I-need-my-ex-back RIGHT NOW!!!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
What the "No Contact" Rule means and why its works like a charm
If you're one of the desperate souls out there on the internet looking for ways to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend after they've dumped you, you've most likely read about the idea of "no contact". This concept is popular for the simple reason that it flat out works! In fact, you could do nothing at all other than avoid contact with your ex, and more often than not, he or she will be the one to eventually contact you!
So why is avoiding your ex such an effective way to get them to reconsider their decision to break up?
First of all, if you're not communicating with your ex, then they won't see what an emotional wreck you are. It's completely natural to become emotional and depressed when you've just been dumped, but the more needy, depressed, or desperate you act around your ex, the more unattractive you become. So avoiding contact acts as a preventative measure in this sense, so you don't make the situation worse by letting your ex see you when you're in a funk trying to get your emotions under control.
Secondly, your ex will EXPECT you to beg, plead, and try to get back together. If you make no contact with them at all, it will mess with their head a little and they're definitely going to wonder why they haven't heard from you. They'll start thinking all sorts of different things, like maybe you're moving on already, or even possibly have another romantic interest lined up. Trust me, this will be good as they'll likely start to second guess their decision once they see that you're ok with the breakup and moving on with your life (or at least appear to be anyway!).
Finally, the time apart will give your ex a chance to actually miss you. Chances are that you're used to seeing each other all the time, and with all the stress in the relationship lately, the two of you simply might just need some time away from each other for a while. If someone has had intense feelings for you for the past few months or longer, those feelings aren't simply going to go away in an instant. You can bet that your ex will at least be thinking about you, whether they say they are or not. By leaving them alone with their own thoughts, you're giving them the chance to actually see what life is like without you... and oftentimes they'll realize their life was better with you in it!
If you want your ex back YESTERDAY then visit: http://tinyurl.com/I-need-my-ex-back RIGHT NOW!!!!
So why is avoiding your ex such an effective way to get them to reconsider their decision to break up?
First of all, if you're not communicating with your ex, then they won't see what an emotional wreck you are. It's completely natural to become emotional and depressed when you've just been dumped, but the more needy, depressed, or desperate you act around your ex, the more unattractive you become. So avoiding contact acts as a preventative measure in this sense, so you don't make the situation worse by letting your ex see you when you're in a funk trying to get your emotions under control.
Secondly, your ex will EXPECT you to beg, plead, and try to get back together. If you make no contact with them at all, it will mess with their head a little and they're definitely going to wonder why they haven't heard from you. They'll start thinking all sorts of different things, like maybe you're moving on already, or even possibly have another romantic interest lined up. Trust me, this will be good as they'll likely start to second guess their decision once they see that you're ok with the breakup and moving on with your life (or at least appear to be anyway!).
Finally, the time apart will give your ex a chance to actually miss you. Chances are that you're used to seeing each other all the time, and with all the stress in the relationship lately, the two of you simply might just need some time away from each other for a while. If someone has had intense feelings for you for the past few months or longer, those feelings aren't simply going to go away in an instant. You can bet that your ex will at least be thinking about you, whether they say they are or not. By leaving them alone with their own thoughts, you're giving them the chance to actually see what life is like without you... and oftentimes they'll realize their life was better with you in it!
If you want your ex back YESTERDAY then visit: http://tinyurl.com/I-need-my-ex-back RIGHT NOW!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
